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Saturday 27 October 2012

day fifty-seven and the last laugh



“She’s getting away in the autogyro!” shouted Ron.
“Mmm, I don’t think so!” said Benny, producing the autogyro’s joystick from his pocket. “I had an idea she’d do that!”
Ron and Benny, and the spiders, who had jumped onto the window-sill, watched as the Spy, realising she couldn’t fly the autogyro, jumped out and hurriedly clambered aboard the airship. A few seconds later it took off. They continued watching until the airship was out of sight.
“Well, she’s gone!” said Ron.
“Yes, and I don’t think we’ll be seeing her again for a while,” said Benny.
“Surely you’ll bump into her at the Imperial Palace, won’t you?” said Ron.
“Maybe not. Once I’ve returned the autogyro I’ll be coming back here,” said Benny.
“But what about your job? You’re the head-chef in the Imperial Kitchen!” said Ron, confused.
“I suspect that was just to get me out of the way” said Benny. “I think the Emperor wanted the Spy to locate S.M.I.R.K. and scare him off.” 
“.....Nnfh....” said Ron.
“Anyway, the mission was accomplished - in a roundabout way,” said Benny.
“Fhuur...” said Ron, his eyes rolling around as he tried to comprehend everything.
“Let’s have some soup!” said Benny.
“Yes, I’m starving!” said Ron, recovering at the thought of some nourishment. “Not beetroot, though!”
Ron and Benny and the spiders all laughed.

© David Severn 2012

Thursday 25 October 2012

day fifty-seven and take-away


“Thanks, Benny!” said Captain Cookie a few minutes later. “I’ll have a coffee to take out, please!”
As usual, this was the signal that it was time for the airship to get going again, and all the passengers started to leave the Soup Shack. Benny got the captain’s coffee and he took it away with him to the cockpit of the airship, where he switched the propellor back on ready for take off.
“What happens next?” said Ron.
“I’ve got to go back to the Imperial Kitchen to make dinner!” said Benny. 
‘I’m going back to the Imperial Palace too!” said the Spy.
“Wait a minute!” said Ron. “You were shooting a harpoon at us just a while ago!”
“Did I hit you?” asked the Spy.
“Well, no..” said Ron.
“Exactly! I know what I’m doing, you know -  I told you I’m a double-agent!” said the Spy.
“Err... “ said Ron. “So what are you going to do now?”
“I’ll go back to my job as courtroom stenographer. And I’ve decided to train to be a judge.” said the Spy.
“Pffllhhhh!” said Ron, dismissively.
“Goodbye, stork...” said the Spy, running out of the Soup Shack. “Goodbye, souperintendant!” she shouted to Benny. 
Ron and Benny went to the door and saw the Spy jump into the autogyro!

© David Severn 2012

Friday 19 October 2012

day fifty-seven and phew!


Just then there was a voice. It was coming from somewhere up in the air.
“No need to panic!” said the voice.
“I know that voice!” said Ron. “It’s Captain Cookie!”
Yes, it was Captain Peters Cookie, piloting the airship which regularly flew the Far North route via the Chilly Peaks. With delicate handling of the controls, the captain brought the airship alongside the autogyro and the stewardess opened the door and threw out a rope, which Ron was able to reach out and grab. Benny was careful to keep the autogyro’s rotorblades away from the airship and soon Ron and the Spy were able to get onto the airship. 

Benny regained control of the autogyro and went as fast as he could to get back to the Soup Shack. The airship would be stopping there for lunch and the passengers would be expecting a choice of soups, at least two anyway.
When he got back, he soon got the pans on and chopped and peeled furiously. His recent experience as head-chef in the Imperial Kitchen, cooking for visiting moose dignitaries and large banquets for a hundred-and-seventy penguinterbottoms, now stood him in good stead.
So, when the airship arrived at the Soup Shack and tied-up on the ledge, everything was almost ready. Benny got Ron and the Spy busy straight away laying tables , taking orders and serving. Fred and his spider friends tried to help, but mostly had to avoid being squashed by soup spoons or salt and pepper pots. 
Some time later, the airship passengers all had a bowl of soup and Benny and Ron and the Spy had time to take a deep breath. 
Phew!

© David Severn 2012

Wednesday 17 October 2012

day fifty-seven and Boof!


Somehow, Benny, Ron and the Spy all got a part of their bodies in the autogyro’s single-seat cockpit and held on to the outside with other parts. Benny opened the throttle and the autogyro shot out of the slit in the mountain-side and out into the bright morning sky.
They looked back at the mountain a few seconds later when they heard a muffled Boof! as the exploding soup exploded, and were surprised to see the octopus escaping in a small flying capsule from a spot higher up the mountain.
“S.M.I.R.K. got away!” shouted Ron above the sound of the engine.
Phew! I’m glad about that - I didn’t think he would actually make the exploding soup!” shouted Benny.
“I didn’t fail, by the way! I’m a double-agent working for the Emperor,” shrieked the Spy.
“What...!” Benny and Ron started to shout, but were interrupted by an awful noise from the engine, which was over-heating with the strain of the extra weight. The autogyro started spinning around like a terrible fairground ride and spiralled downwards. 
“Aaaarrggghhhhh!” they all shouted together.

© David Severn 2012

Monday 15 October 2012

day fifty-seven and scramble...



"We're rumbled!” said Benny. 
“Erk!” said Ron.
The octopus looked towards the door, where Ron and Benny were still watching through the two centimetre gap. The Spy also turned to look, and seeing Ron and Benny's four eyeballs, fired the harpoon-gun at them. The harpoon whizzed through the gap in the door, but luckily went between the second and third eyeballs.
“You have failed, Agent 246,” said the octopus, looking at the mixture in the pan, which was starting to fizz and bubble. “This is not beetroot soup!” 
Benny burst into the room. “Get out of here!” he shouted.”It’s going to blow up!”
Ron yanked the harpoon rope and pulled the Spy out of the room. The octopus was mad and slithered towards Benny, brandishing various dangerous-looking kitchen utensils in it’s tentacles.
Benny hastily left the room and closed the door behind him. He took the harpoon-gun from the Spy and jammed it under the door-handle. They could hear the octopus cursing on the other side of the door as they scrambled down the staircase to the hangar. When they got there, the Spy flicked a switch on the wall which opened the slit to the outside and they all tried to squeeze into the autogyro... that is, the single-seater autogyro.

© David Severn 2012

Saturday 13 October 2012

day fifty-seven and in S.M.I.R.K.'s lair


"Get down!” shouted Benny for the second time that morning. He and Ron both ducked and the rotor-sledge's rotor-blades smashed into the top of the slit and the sledge bits crashed into the bottom of the slit. Ron and Benny shot through the middle of the slit and skidded and rolled along the flat floor of a cave-like hangar, coming to a stop in front of the autogyro, which was now parked near the back. The slit was now fully-closed and the hangar was just lit by a string of fairy-lights around the walls. The Spy was not there. There was a door which she must have exited through.
“Must be locked, and I haven't got any spices this time,” said Benny, rattling the doorknob. “Oh! It's open! Come on!”


Benny and Ron ran up a very dark, narrow, winding staircase. It seemed to go up and up forever, but finally they got to another door.
Very quietly, Ron and Benny opened the door about two centimetres and heard voices echoing around. They tilted their heads sideways to look through the gap. 
They could see the Spy standing in the middle of a large cave-room. There was a stove and a bigtable with a lot of pots and pans and utensils on it and several large cupboards with shelves full of provisions of every description: pineapples, coconuts, bails of wheat, tins upon tins, cans upon cans upon tins, packets and boxes and bottles and jars and everything. And there was an octopus wearing a chef’s toque.
“Well, that’s enough small talk, Agent 246,” said the octopus. “Let’s get down to business! Tell me the beetroot soup recipe!”
Agent 246, the Spy, started reciting the recipe that Benny had told her and the octopus got to work.
“Is he S.M.I.R.K.?” whispered Ron.
“Yes, it looks like it,” whispered Benny.
They watched a little while longer, then Benny said, “Actually, I didn’t tell her the beetroot soup recipe exactly.”
“So, what did you tell her?” asked Ron.
“I told her the recipe for exploding soup,” said Benny. “We’ve got to get out of here!”
They heard the Spy say, “And that’s it! Beetroot soup!”
“Are you sure this is beetroot soup?” said the octopus, looking at the pan which was starting to shake. “Perhaps we should let our two visitors sample it first!”

© David Severn 2012

Friday 12 October 2012

day fifty-seven and flying into a mountain


Benny and Ron ran out of the pantry and out of the door of the Soup Shack onto the ledge. They could hear the whine of the autogyro's engine and just see it in the distance. 
“She’s getting away!” said Ron.
“Come on!" said Benny. “Get in the rotor-sledge!”
Benny's rotor-sledge was parked next to the Soup Shack. They pulled off the tarpaulin and shooed off two goats who had been sleeping under it.
Ignoring the smell, Benny and Ron pulled the rotor-sledge out onto the ledge, and  jumped in. Benny started the ignition and a minute later they were high up in the morning sky, chasing after the Spy in the autogyro. 
“We've got to try and stop her before she passes on the beetroot soup recipe to S.M.I.R.K.!” shouted Benny above the noise of the rotor-sledge's engine.
Little-by-little the rotor-sledge, expertly handled by Benny and with a more powerful engine, gained on the autogyro, which was light and nippy, but was difficult to handle and not built for cruising. Before too long, Ron and Benny were just twenty metres behind the autogyro, which was approaching the side of a big mountain.
“She's going to crash!” shouted Ron.
“She'll take evasive action at the last minute I expect!” shouted Benny. “She's a spy after all!”
Benny left it until the last second but then he had to pull hard on the joystick and bring the rotor-sledge up and away from the icy mountain-side. They looked down, expecting to see the Spy smash into the mountain, but a section of the ice suddenly slid upwards and she flew into a letter-box shaped slit. 
Benny turned the rotor-sledge around, and got back in line with the slit, but as they got near, they saw it start to close up again. Now it was too late to manoeuvre, but the slit was getting narrower and narrower.....

© David Severn 2012

Thursday 11 October 2012

day fifty-seven and a blast


“We've got to get out of this pantry!” said Benny. “We can't let the Spy get away with the recipe!”
“But she locked the door and took the key!” said Ron.
Benny looked around on the shelves of the pantry. “I think..... somewhere.... yes, here we are... and ….. some of that.... and a bit of this..... and oooh!... that should do the trick!” said Benny.
“What's that?” said Ron.
“Just a minute – you'll see. Now, let me see if I can remember the recipe....” said Benny.
Ron and the spiders watched as Benny took a small bowl and shook some red, orange, yellow and black powders into it.
“What is it?” asked Ron.
“It's industrial-strength mustard powder, deadly chilli powder, fire-spice and cosmic black pepper,” said Benny, mixing the powder with a spoon.
Benny then added a bit of water and a dash of vinegar and made a paste, which he scooped up with the spoon and pushed into the keyhole.
“Ten – nine..” said Benny.
“Can you eat it – it looks great!” said Ron.
“Eight – seven – I don't advise it..” said Benny.
“Maybe spread thinly on toast?” said Ron.
“Six- five – if you want to blow your head off!” said Benny.
“Sounds good!” said Ron.
“Four – three – I'm serious” said Benny. “Get down everybody! Two – one!”
Everybody got down. A wisp of smoke came from the keyhole and then there was a very loud Bang! and the doorknob shot out like a cannonball and the pantry was filled with acrid smoke. The doorknob on the other side of the door also shot off and went flying straight through the open front door and hit a goat on the horns, sending it spinning off the edge of the ledge.

Don't try this at home, folks!
(The goat was o.k. but had a headache for a while.)

© David Severn 2012

Wednesday 10 October 2012

day fifty-seven and the Spy gets away


"Pssst!”
Ron and Benny looked and saw Fred and all the other spiders on the table where they had been doing tai chi. Now they were standing quite still with most of their legs in the air.
What happened?” asked Ron. “Where did she go?”
Fred gestured with his head and Ron and Benny looked back as the door closed shut and the Spy stepped out from behind it.
What the....?!” said Benny, for the third time in about two minutes.
Put your hands up!” said the Spy, pointing the re-loaded harpoon gun at them.
How did you get free? You were all tied-up!” said Benny.
I'm a spy!” said the Spy. “I can get out of being tied-up all right, thank you very much!”
What do you want?” asked Benny.
You know what I want, you stupid bustard!” shouted the Spy.
You never give up, do you?!” said Ron.
No, and if you value your lives you will give me the beetroot soup recipe right now!” said the Spy. “And no tricks this time!”
What's so special about the beetroot soup recipe, anyway?” asked Ron.
Benny glanced at Ron, slightly offended.
The Spy ignored the question and threw Benny a notebook and a pencil. 
Write it down!” said the Spy.
Feeling responsible for the lives of Ron, Fred and all the other spiders, Benny wrote down the recipe in the notebook and threw it back to the Spy.
Good!” she said. Keeping the harpoon-gun trained on Ron and Benny, and looking up every couple of seconds to check they hadn't moved, she memorised the recipe with her highly-trained spy's brain. Then she tore the page out of the notebook and ate it, swallowing with a loud “Gulp!”
Right, all of you, get in the pantry!” she demanded.
Ron and Benny and the spiders all went into the pantry and the Spy shut the door and locked it from the outside. A minute later they heard the sound of an engine starting.
She's taking the autogyro!” said Benny. “Waggling walrus willies! She's getting away!”

© David Severn 2012

Tuesday 9 October 2012

day 57 and a legendary bird distracts Benny from the job



Benny looked everywhere in the Soup Shack, but Ron wasn’t there. He went to the window and looked out, expecting to see Ron on the ledge, getting some fresh air. But he wasn’t there either. Then Benny became aware of a strange sound coming from outside; a sort of cry that repeated every few seconds. “Wheee!........ Whooo!........ Wheee!........ etc.”
What was that? Some kind of bird? Was it the legendary six o’clock bird?! Benny opened the door of the Soup Shack and went out onto the ledge.
He looked up into the early morning gloom, hoping to see the legendary six o'clock bird, but then he heard the cry again, coming from below. “Wheee!”Benny looked down to the edge of the ledge where he saw Ron's head appear briefly before disappearing below the edge again. A couple of seconds later there was the sound again, “Whooo!”, and Ron's head rose up for an instant again. 
“What the....?!” muttered Benny, uncomprehendingly.. “Ron!” he shouted, running up to the edge.. “What are you doing?!”
Hey, Benny!” said Ron when his head re-appeared. “I found a trampoline!” he continued the next time.
Benny realised that Ron was bouncing up and down on the giant web that the spiders had made.
Ron, you peacock-brain!” shouted Benny. “Stop!”
Hang on!” said Ron. “You can have a go in a minute!”
Ron, stop now!” shouted Benny. “We've got a captive enemy agent in there, you know.”
Oh, yeah, right,” said Ron, doing an extra high bounce and somersaulting onto the ledge.
Benny and Ron walked back to the Soup Shack and went inside.
What the....?!” cried Benny. “She's gone!” It was true; the hammock she had slept in was empty.
Ooops!” said Ron.

© David Severn 2012

Thursday 4 October 2012

day fifty-seven and a big bounce



Benny watched the harpoon and the rope attached to it disappear over the edge of the ledge. Obviously there was something heavy attached to the harpoon. I hope it wasn’t anything important! thought Benny.
He started towards the edge to have a look, but suddenly there was a whoosh! and the giant snowball shot up into the air above and landed with a crunk! on the ledge!
“Fhoof!” said Benny. He was shocked to see Ron’s beak and some boots sticking out of the frozen ball of snow. He rolled the snowball into the Soup Shack and lit a fire and put pans of water on the stove to boil. 
While the shack was warming up, Benny went outside again and looked over the edge of the ledge, where the snowball had shot up from. He could see a large spider-web down there. The next second, Fred and his spider friends appeared at his feet.
“What the... what?!” said Benny, trying to understand.
“We built the web to catch the snowball!” said Fred. “We thought it might drop - but we only just finished the web in time!”
“Bfff... hunh?” said Benny. “How did all your friends get here?”
One of the other spiders, an older-looking one, spoke:
“We eventually found out where Fred was,” said Sir Wellington Moonboots. “A scorpion on the Kola Nut Hotel patio told us he had overheard one of the hotel guests talking about Ron’s airship rescue and the Soup Shack. We got a starling to bring us here. It didn’t come cheap, though, it cost me an arm and a leg!”

© David Severn 2012

Wednesday 3 October 2012

day fifty-seven and Benny comes back


The giant snowball was still dangling on the end of the harpoon-gun rope over the edge of the ledge ourside the Soup Shack. Frozen inside it were Ron and the Spy.
The wolf came around once but soon found there was nothing to eat except some raw vegetables and the Soup Shack was freezing cold because the door had been left open when Ron and the Spy were fighting and rolled out onto the ledge. Otherwise it was all quiet for days.
Then suddenly one morning there was the sound of an engine. Benny had taken a day-off from his job as head-chef at the Imperial Palace and had borrowed a small one-birdman autogyro, and he was coming in to land on the ledge. A spray of loose snow was thrown up into the air by the autogyro’s rotor-blades as it touched down with a bump.
Benny switched off the engine and saw the door of the Soup Shack was wide open. Hnff! he thought. Fancy leaving the door wide open!
He went over to the doorway and looked inside the Soup Shack. No-one there - nothing cooking. Where was Ron?
Benny tried to pull the door shut, but found it was stuck or something was pulling from the other side. He looked and saw the harpoon stuck in the door. Flipping fishcakes! he thought. He pulled the harpoon out of the door and it was jerked out of his hand by the weight of the snowball. Ooops! Maybe I shouldn’t have done that! thought Benny.

© David Severn 2012

Tuesday 2 October 2012

meanwhile and while you're waiting


Meanwhile back at the Kola Nut Hotel, Fred’s spider friends and Sir Wellington Moonboots, the celebrated web-engineer and the many other curious spiders who had come to check out the giant web, were still looking for Fred. They searched the area around the patio where the web had broken under their combined weight. The problem was he had been shot into the air so fast that none of them knew where he had gone. When they couldn’t find him they extended their search to the hotel’s environs, including the botanical gardens, the crazy golf course, the promenade, the beach and the sand dunes. Of course it was all a waste of time because he had been carried away on a cloud, as you know.

Meanwhile, back in the Imperial Kitchen, Benny was now in charge of the Imperial Meals. As you can imagine, it was hard work. One minute he would have to shout orders at his cooks and the next he would be creating a delicate brandy snap filigree cage with marzipan canaries or a hot jam volcano cake to serve a hundred.

© David Severn 2012

Monday 1 October 2012

meanwhile a while longer


Percy’s Guide to the Tea Houses of the Gardenlands #2

If you’ve got an eagle’s eye, then the steam rising from the kettle at Tea House No.2 is visible from the top of the hill. 
Take the path up the hill through the silk tassle trees until you get a feeling of deja-vu, then listen for the tinkle of water from the spring. When you’ve found that, just follow the water and eventually you’ll get to the tea house. It’s a long way but it’s worth it. They have purple tea and mint cakes.

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Pip’s Photosnap Abum #2

* Pip’s tip: Attach sweet wrapper to lens for realistic colour effect.

© David Severn 2012