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Friday 8 June 2012

day forty-seven and fourteen-fifteenths

After the magic lantern show, the penguins invited me to join them for a game of cards. They have the same deck but the suits are cubes, peaks, hats and fish. The game they played was complicated, a bit like crackit, and for a long time I lost game after game. I was finally getting the hang of it when suddenly the airship lurched to one side and the card table, cards, chairs and penguins all went tumbling. Amid the squawking the Captain's voice came on: "Please fasten you seatbelts. There is no need to panic, but we seem to be being attacked slightly by some bandits*." The squawking got louder and the seals started honking.


* The bandits are long-haired snow mice who have fallen off the mantelpiece of civilisation. These renegades are the scourge of the airlines. They fly around in rubber-band-powered cups, shooting snowballs mostly, but sometimes smelly sludgeballs or spiky sea-urchins.

Wednesday 6 June 2012

day forty-seven and thirteen-fourteenths

Floating slowly towards the Far North on the airship, I was still wondering about Benny, the third policebirdman brother and how he came to be making soup and coffee in the Chilly Peaks, when dinner was served. One of the stewards put a tray in front of me. On the tray was a plate of sardines, with a lemon, salt, two donuts, a cupcake, a trifle, some onions, a cheese triangle, a cherry pie, a grilled halibut, some jumping beans, a stick of celery, a bowl of cornflakes. A bottle of exotic liquor, a cream bun, some sort of soup, an array of fancy nibbles, a stick of rock, a bucket of ice and some obscure things which I didn't know, but which tasted o.k. And a stick of rhubarb.


After I finished eating all that, there was a magic lantern picture show called Sheriff Tinned Tomatoes, about a lawbirdman who keeps getting tricked and bashed about by a bad birdgirl. The penguins laughed a lot, but I fell asleep and dreamt that Bill & Bobby were redecorating the policebirdbox. It was an odd dream - just Bill & Bobby painting the walls and the door and the cage bars. I was woken up by the sound of applause as the picture show ended, with Sheriff Tinned Tomatoes walking off into the sunset, jumping up-and-down and clicking his heels.

day forty-seven and twelve-thirteenths

The airship was gently bobbing up and down on the ledge outside the Soup Shack. I could see Capt. Cookie in the cockpit drinking his take-away coffee and getting ready to take off. One of the stewards was waiting at the open door and I climbed aboard. When I turned to look back at the Soup Shack I saw Benny standing outside waving (although he still looked stern). I wanted to jump off again and go back to talk to him - there were so many things I wanted to ask him, but the steward closed the door and bolted it. 
How did Benny come to be here in the Chilly Peaks? I took my seat and fastened my seatbelt. Did he tug on a rope, like I did? The airship started to rise into the air. I wonder if he'll ever come back to the policebirdbox? I looked out of the porthole and saw him still standing outside the Soup Shack, still waving. I wonder if I'll ever see him again? The airship climbed higher. Lemonade or sparkling mountain spring water? One of the stewards had come around with some drinks. As the airship slowly floated away, I could just see Benny go back inside the shack. Lemonade, please.

Friday 1 June 2012

Ron's Summer Holiday - day forty-seven and eleven-twelfths

The captain got his coffee and left the Soup Shack, followed by the airship's crew and passengers. Benny started clearing the tables. "Hello. My name's Ron. Er... I know your brothers Bill & Bobby," I said to him. The birdman looked at me sternly for what felt like five minutes. Eventually he said, "Oh! How are they doing? Are they keeping law and order?" 
"Er.. yes, I think so," I reply. 
"What are you doing here? You're a long way from home!" said Benny.
I explain how I came to be on the airship - about the Cocktail Lounge and the rope and everything. "I see," said Benny, "Yes, ropes can be tricky things. According to the Policebird Force Manual, Section 31, paragraph 89, article 3, sub-section 99:"Dangling ropes and string", you are advised to report the dangle to a policebirdman or deputy, or a qualified rock-climber, or ancient fisherman, or candle-maker." Now I'm 101% sure I'm speaking to an ex-policebirdman!
Benny continued for a few minutes with more details from the Policebird Force Manual, including what to do with coiled ropes, rope-ladders, how to get money for old rope etc.
Just then, Benny's monologue was interrupted by the sound of three blasts from the airship's trumpet. "You'd better go - the airship's about to leave," Benny said.