breaking news

Friday 31 August 2012

day fifty-one and breakfast-in-bed


Benny woke up after a good night’s sleep in the four-poster nest bed in the Lang Lang Suite and pulled the golden rope. A footman came to the door and asked Benny what he wanted for breakfast, and Benny said anything would be fine. 
“No fish heads, though.” he said on second thoughts. It was a bit early for that kind of thing. 
While he was waiting for breakfast, Benny remembered the dream he had after falling asleep reading a copy of Ding Dong’s controversial book, "The Lost World of The Monkeymen", which was on the bedside table. In the dream he was in the world of the monkeymen, looking up at the incredibly tall stone castles they had built. The ground was full of monkeymen running around, making calculations with their calculators. Some of them were inside strange-looking carts, following other similar carts.
Then breakfast came. It was on a large tray which the footman put in front of Benny sitting up in the nest bed. There was a loaf of toast, butter, about ten pots of jam - all different, peanut butter, a trifle, some fruit - bananas, apples, kiwi fruit, oranges, strawberries, pineapples, jackfruit, papayas, mangoes, H2Omelon - a pizza, a pot of tea and a pot of coffee. An apple pie. A country cottage cake with an edible garden, a chain of fish sausages with spicy rice and onion rings. That’s all. And a bottle of champagne and a plate of dumplings.

day fifty and the night


“Ha, ha-ha, ha-ha-ha!” The Emperor laughed. “Only joking!” And he pulled his eyepatch across his beak and covered his new black eye. “There we go!” he said. “Ha, ha-ha, ha-ha-ha!” 
Everyone burst with relief and laughed uncontrolably.
“What’s so funny?” said Ron, responding to the doctor’s smelling salts.
“Take him to the infirmary,” said the doctor. “I’ll need to check he hasn’t broken anything.”
“I’ve broken everything,” said Ron, briefly feeling sorry for himself, before falling unconscious again. He was put onto a stretcher and carried away.

Benny wasn’t allowed to follow Ron to the Imperial infirmary as it was well after visiting time, but Fred sneaked in afterwards and kept an eye on Ron (actually two of his four eyes).
Benny spent the night in a luxurious suite with a jacuzzi and a four-poster nest bed, a minibar stocked with serious-looking miniature bottles of vodka and fire-water, a magic lantern with three channels, a chandelier made of icicles and a golden rope with a purple velvet tassle, which Benny was told to pull on if he needed anything.
                                           

While Benny pranced about in his suite, Ron slept, and dreamt he was flying. He flew over the garden. He could see Percy and his friends having a picnic and he zoomed low over their heads shouting 
“Look, I’m flying!” 
Percy and his friends looked up and waved. 
“I can fly!” he declared. 
He zoomed in again and Percy threw him a cheese and pickle sandwich, which Ron caught in his beak. On the next flypast, Puff launched a fruit scone up into the air and Ron swallowed it without missing a wing-beat. 
“This is great!” shouted Ron, as he continued to devour airborne treats: a bunch of grapes, some chocolate biscuits, a straw pie, a slice of pizza, even a handful of peanuts, which he rapidly and skilfully pecked out of the air one-by-one. Eventually there was nothing left to consume and he decided to land, aiming for the picnic cloth, which sent Percy and his friends scurrying for cover. He landed safely slap-bang in the centre of the stripey picnic cloth. It felt nice and soft and he was quite full so he decided to have a quick nap.

Thursday 30 August 2012

day fifty and ooops! not again


Is he all right?” asked Benny anxiously.
“I don’t know!” said the Emperor. “I don’t know what the blinking walrus balls is going on - he tried to attack us!”said the Emperor. “Guards! Guards!” he shouted.
“Get the doctor!” said the Empress.
Benny went back into the ballroom and located a physician, who led him downstairs to the courtyard. When they got there the Imperial Palace guards were standing over Ron, who still lay motionless.
Benny tried to explain what must have happened while the doctor treated Ron. “... so after I told him he had flown, he must have wanted to try it out - maybe he had too many glasses of Royal Ice Brandy. “
“Well, in the brief second I saw his face he did look surprised to see us down here,” said the Empress. 
“And he was flapping his arms up and down like mad,” said the Emperor. ”But whatever happened, I got whacked in the face!” 
“Oh, dear!” said the Empress. ”You’ve got another black eye coming on! I’m sure it was an accident. I think his gold medal, the one you gave him, must have swung round and hit you.”
By now all the guests were up on the balcony watching this drama unfolding below. 
“Mmm. Accident or not, I think we’ll have to have another trial!” said the Emperor. 

Wednesday 29 August 2012

day 50 and Ron disappears


“I what?” said Ron.
“You flew! Well, you flapped your arms and it was enought to break your fall anyway.”
“Stop pulling my leg!” said Ron.
“I saw you do it! You would have been an ex-stork. As for your black eye, I suppose your elbow hit the ground and you punched yourself. You don’t remember anything about it, do you?”
“No. I can’t believe it!” said Ron.
Just then he was dragged back to dance by some birdladies.
Benny looked around the Imperial ballroom and wondered if he was dreaming. The room’s icy walls were decorated with gold and jewels, with some massive paintings of the Peng Win dynasty. Some waiters carried trays covered in canapes such as sardine heads and anchovy crispies. The bird ladies looked elegant in their brightly-coloured ballgowns. Benny noticed that the Emperor and Empress were missing, but he wasn’t concerned for their safety now that the butler had been locked up. And over there was Ron. He had only met him a few days ago, but he had grown to like him a lot. Just a few days ago he would never have thought he would be in such a grand place enjoying such a fabulous party. All because of Ron! Benny looked for Ron again in the blur of bodies dancing crazily around the ballroom.... but he wasn’t there... he had disappeared!
The orchestra fiddled and blowed a high-speed penguin polka and the dancers were thrown around by the music like clothes in a washing-machine. The waiters seemed to be walking as though they were on a ship, being tossed around by gigantic waves. Benny felt a little bit dizzy. The music got faster and faster and came to a crescendo.... and then suddenly ended.
All the dancers and some of the waiters and various generals, admirals and dignitaries fell over. Then it was all quiet. Suddenly, there was a scream from outside.
Benny went to the window and out on to the balcony. He looked down at the courtyard just below. There he saw the Emperor and Empress crouched over the form of Ron spread-eagled on the icy stone floor.
“Flipping fish scales!” said Benny. “What happened?!”

Tuesday 28 August 2012

day fifty and a party


The butler confessed to the crime and was led away to the dungeon. He thought his master, the Emperor’s uncle should have become ruler even though he was a loon, and he had snowballed the Emperor to frighten him off. Needless to say, the Emperor’s uncle had nothing to do with this treachery. (At his trial, he butler pleaded guilty and was given a reduced sentence of two years hard labour at the ice cube works. The Emperor’s uncle turned up at the courtroom in pyjamas and a sombrero having had to dress himself.)


That night, after the trial of Benny and Ron, the Emperor threw a big party. Benny and Ron were given the reception their heroic deeds deserved, and they wined and dined and danced with the most beautiful birdladies in the Penguin Empire. Ron was wearing the gold medal the Emperor had awarded him, which had been confiscated for the duration of the trial, and it swung around his neck on it’s ribbon as he danced. Later on the Emperor and the Empress left the party for a nostalgic waltz around the moonlit courtyard.
Ron and Benny finally took a break after a particularly energetic traditional Far Northern Flipper dance. 
“So, Benny,” said Ron, getting his breath back. “You were going to tell me how I survived the fall from the airship. How come I escaped with just a black eye?”
This time there was no interruption. “You flew, Ron.” said Benny.

Monday 27 August 2012

day fifty and a small voice speaks up


The courtroom guards let Benny go. He straightened his tunic and hat. Ron started whooping and jumping around and the birdladies-in-waiting drooled. The generals and admirals forgot their weak bladders and stroked their medals, remembering their own glorious triumphs.  The Emperor wiggled his moustache. The Empress recalled when her husband was a young prince and she was his princess and they waltzed around the frozen courtyard of the Imperial Palace in the moonlight. The Emperor’s uncle threw his papers in the courtroom bin. His butler looked numb.
Fred crawled down to Ron’s ear and whispered something.
The judge said, “Well, that was unusual! A last-minute reprieve!”
“Hooray!” shouted everyone.
And then the Emperor stood up. “Please be quiet.” he said. 
Everyone was quiet. 
“Now I’m as pleased as anyone to see justice done in my courtroom. And Benny, I regret putting you through all this, and by way of compensation I would like you to stay here in the Imperial Palace as my special guest for a few days. And you too, Ron, of course. But it is not quite time to celebrate yet. We still don’t know who shot the snowball!” 
A murmur of agreement went around the room.
“But let me say, I will hunt down the offender and whoever it is will be very sorry!”
“Excuse me, Your Highpointness,” said Ron. 
“You have something to say about this, Ron?” said the Emperor, surprised.
“No.” said Ron. “But Fred does.”
“Fred?” said the Emperor.
Ron pointed to his right shoulder, where Fred was now standing. Everyone looked at Fred. Fred’s eight legs were trembling, but no-one noticed. The Empress shrieked and got up on her seat, clutching her dress.
Fred started to speak but his voice was too small for anyone to hear. 
“Is this some kind of joke, Ron?” said the Emperor impatiently. 
“No it’s very important. Don’t let anyone leave the room,” said Ron. “Is there a megaphone?”
The judge signalled to one of the court officials who opened a cupboard and brought out a megaphone and took it over to Ron, who held it for Fred.
“Ahem,” said Fred. His voice was now amplified sufficiently. “While everyone was cheering and Ron was jumping around, I went up on the ceiling to get out of the way. I looked down and saw something shiny. I made a thread to where it was and ran down it. I found myself in a coat pocket.”
You could have heard a pin drop. 
“In the pocket was a big shiny button,” said Fred.
“I walked back along my thread and told Ron I had seen something. And now I’m telling you.”
“So whose pocket was it?” asked the Emperor.
“Him!” said Fred. No-one could see who he was pointing at with one of his little legs. 
“Wait a minute, I’ll show you - my thread is still connected!”
In a flash Fred was up on the ceiling and then running down an invisible thread. Everyone’s eyes followed him down as he got nearer and nearer to.... the Emperor’s uncle’s butler’s coat pocket!
Fred jumped out of the way as the Emperor ran forward and grabbed the butler. The butler squeeked as the Emperor turned him upside-down and shook him, and several big shiny buttons and a catapult dropped out of the his coat pockets onto the courtroom floor.
Everyone gasped. And then there was silence.
“Objection!” shouted the Emperor’s uncle.
“Shut up, uncle,” said the Emperor.

Sunday 26 August 2012

day fifty and a surprise development


Just then there was a banging on the door from outside the courtroom.
One of the court officials opened it and a magpie burst into the room, all in a panic. “Am I too late?” she said, seeing the guards holding the struggling Benny.
“Who are you?” asked the judge.
“My name is Winters,” said the magpie. “I’ve got the button!”
“What?!” said the judge, straightening her wig.
“Yes, here it is! The button missing from Benny’s coat!” said Winters.
“I couldn’t help myself. It was so big and shiny!” she continued. “I saw Benny walking in the Chilly Peaks on Thursday morning in his scarlet tunic and I saw the button come off when he tripped over a curl of ropeweed that was sticking up out of the path. I don’t think he noticed it come off. It rolled down the mountainside and I flew after it. And I kept it. Then I read about the trial in the newspaper. I got here as fast as I could!”
Eveyone gawped at the magpie, as her testimony sank in. Then there was a strange chorus of groans (generals and admirals), cheers (birdladies-in-waiting), whistles (the Emperor’s uncle), sighs (the court officials and the stenographer) and various other curses, titters and whoops.
This only ceased when the judge shouted “Order! Order!!”
There was order. One of the court officials took the button the magpie had brought and handed it to the judge. The judge had a look at Exhibit A and Exhibit B. She cast her eyes over Exhibit C. And then she peered at the new exhibit; Exhibit D - the new button, examining it closely.
And then she spoke. “In light of this new witness’s statement and evidence....”she said, “I hereby revoke the sentence. Benny Bluebell, you are free to go!”

Saturday 25 August 2012

day fifty and back to the courtroom for the sentencing


“Stork,” said the judge finally, “You can go free. Your heroic antics saving the airship and everyone on board outweigh any suspiscion about your involvement in this case.” 
Ron punched the air and the birdladies-in-waiting all cheered until the Empress shushed them.
“Benny...” said the judge. There was now complete silence in the room.
“ I sentence you to three years hard labour in the ice cube works.”

The on-lookers murmured with an odd mixture of satisfaction and sympathy.
Benny started to protest his innocence again, but the judge gave a signal and the guards grabbed him and started forcing him towards the door. Ron tried to stop them but was pushed away. Fred held on to Ron’s hair. The Emperor’s uncle looked blankly at his muddle of papers. The butler grinned an awful grin. The generals and admirals all stood up and started shoving each other trying to get out from their row of seats. The birdladies-in-waiting felt sad because it was Ron’s friend who was being sent to the ice cube works. The court officials closed their files and folios. The stenographer poked an emphatic full stop at the end of the record.
The Empress maintained her regal demeanour and the Emperor stroked his moustache as he had a last ligering look at his assailant.
It was all over.

day forty-nine to fifty and Benny's plea


“Fred!” cried Ron.
Of course it was Fred the spider who landed on the spoon - not a talking snowflake. The cloud he had travelled northwards on had finally turned to snow, and Fred had drifted down on a snowflake, luckily landing on the spoon Ron had stuck out of the window of the dungeon.
“Flying fishguts!” said Benny. 

The next morning, after Ron had explained to Fred everything that had happened during the trial, Ron and Benny were taken back to the courtroom and Fred hid himself in Ron’s slightly messy hair. No-one noticed he was there, and from his vantage point on top of Ron’s head he had a bird’s-eye-view of the courtroom and everyone in it.
“How do you plead?”
“Not guilty!” said Benny emphatically. The audience gave a low whistle, “Pheeoooo..”
The Emperor’s uncle flapped his flippers and awkwardly shuffled his thick pile of papers. He thought Benny was surely going to plead guilty as he had advised him to do.
“You do know what “Not guilty” means, don’t you?” asked the judge.
“Yes, I’m innocent!” said Benny defiantly. “Why should I say I’m guilty when I’m not?! I haven’t done anything wrong, your lordy.”
The judge whispered something to one of her court officials. Some of the generals and admirals started to fidget, wondering if this was a good time to go to the bathroom. The Emperor adjusted his eye patch and stroked his moustache. The Empress thought about her chickhood back in the Frosty Forests, before she had any inkling that she would marry an Emperor. The bird-ladies-in-waiting stole glances at Ron - he was still a hero in their hearts. The stenographer continued scratchily writing, trying to catch up again. The Empror’s uncle flapped his flippers and awkwardly shuffled his thick pile of papers. He had thought Benny was surely going to plead guilty as he had advised him to do. The butler, Shortstaff looked anxiously at the judge, waiting for her to speak.

Friday 24 August 2012

day forty-nine and snow


Fred was still on top of the cloud, travelling northwards. Now it was night and it was getting colder and colder.  Fred tucked his legs in under his body to try and keep warm.



In the dungeon, Ron and Benny couldn’t sleep. They had to go back to the courtroom the next day to hear their fate.
Benny looked up at the small window. “It’s snowing,” he said. He remembered the snowdome that the Emperor had given him at the Soup Shack, and took it out of his coat pocket and gave it a shake. There in his hand was the Imperial Palace in a snowstorm. “Ha!” he said.
Ron put his hand in his pocket too, to get his comb, thinking he must at least get his quiff in shape for the admiring birdladies-in-waiting. However, instead of his silver comb, he felt a different metal object. “How did this get in my pocket?” he said incredulously, pulling out a soup spoon.*
“Slippery fishfat!” he cursed.
Ron looked up at the window, where the snow was falling. He hooked one of his feet under a stool and dragged it underneath the window. He climbed on to the stool and reached up and stuck the spoon out through the iron grille of the window into the air for a few seconds. 
“Hey! Snow!” he said, pulling the spoon in again. He put the spoon in his beak. 
“Mmmm!” he said. “Do you want some snow flakes, Benny!” said Ron. 
“Er.. no, not really,” said Benny, still mesmerised by the snowdome.
“More for me then!” said Ron, sticking the spoon out of the window again. He was just about to put the spoon in his beak, when one of the snowflakes said, “Oi! Watch out!” 






*If you remember, dear reader, he got the two things mixed up in the panic caused by the arrival of the Emperor at the Soup Shack in the Imperial Zeppelin.

Thursday 23 August 2012

day forty-nine and Benny's on trial


“Ssshhh!” Ron was brought into the penguinpeople’s ice court and the Empress’s ladypenguins-in-waiting squawked and nudged each other. “Shhsshh!” shushed the Empress again.
“Hmnhumdmnmbumdumnhum.” There was a general murmur of disapproval as Benny was then brought in and received by the Emperor’s mad uncle, who was acting as Ron and Benny’s lawyer, and his butler.
The Emperor came in next with his footmen. He seated himself next to the Empress. Everyone noticed he was wearing his eye patch - covering his black eye. Behind the Imperial Couple was a row of generals and admirals in their full regalia. 
Then in came the judge and her court officials. The judge, an owl-penguin, sat at the head of the ice court, with her officials either side.
The participants and audience savoured the atmosphere for a few more seconds (it was like a hundred bingo games all at once) and then the trial began.
There were a few sniggers when Benny was told to give his name and abode and said, “Benny Bluebell, of the Soup Shack, in the Chilly Peaks.” Ron’s answer to the same question - “Ron Regent Stork of Biscuit Factory Yard”, caused less of a fuss and the sound of the ice court stenographer’s pen could be heard scratching across a sheet of blue paper.
“You are charged with a violent assault on His Highlightness the Emperor’s Imperial visage,” said the judge, “with a missile in the form of a snowball with a big silver button in it: Exhibit A.”
A court official held up a tray with the button and a label saying “Exhibit A” on it.
“This button is identical to one from the accused’s coat: Exhibit B.” said the judge.
The official held up another tray with a button and a label on it.
“And there are two buttons missing from your coat, which has buttons of the very same kind,” said the judge. “Stand up. please.” Benny stood up and the official pointed to his chest with an arrow labelled “Exhibit C”, where two of the big silver buttons of Benny’s scarlet tunic were plainly absent.
There was a “Hfffh!” from the audience as they made an inhalation sound in unison.
“Objection, my lord!” said the Emperor’s uncle. “There may be two buttons missing from my client’s coat, but that is only circumstantial evidence.”
“Circum-what?” said the judge.
“Stantial, my lord,” said the Emperor’s uncle.
“What does that mean?” asked the judge impatiently.
“I’m not sure, my lord. I heard it on the magic lantern once.” said the Emperor’s uncle.
“Well, if you don’t mind, Your Niceness, until you can clarify what-the-frozen-fish you are talking about, we will proceed with the trial!” said the judge.
“Yes, my lord,” said the Emperor’s uncle.
“And by the way, stop calling me “my lord”. I am a lady judge,” said the judge.
“Yes, my lo...ady,” said the Emperor’s uncle.”I’m sorry.”
“Excuse me, your my lord,” said Benny suddenly. He knew what “circumstantial” meant, and he knew the Emperor’s uncle was on to something.
“Please keep your beak shut until I tell you you can open it!” squawked the judge irately.
“That’s not fair, your lady!” said Ron.
“Quiet!” shouted the judge, flapping her wings and nearly losing her wig. “One more sound from either of you two traitors and you’ll be charged with contempt of court on top of violent assault!”
“How do you spell circumstantial?” said the stenographer suddenly.
There was then a delay of five minutes, while one of the generals noisily shuffled along the row to go to the bathroom, which became a delay of half-an-hour when all the other generals and admirals were inspired, one-by-one, to do the same.
Finally, when everyone was settled, and the stenographer had caught up, the judge continued. 
“Where were you on Thursday morning?” she asked Benny.
“I was in the Soup Shack, you lady,” replied Benny. 
“Do you have a witness?” asked the judge.
“Well, Ron was there, but...” Benny hesitated. He thought it was best to tell the truth, but on the other hand he knew the cards were stacked against him, despite what the Emperor’s uncle had said about fairness and justice being important to the Emperor and his penguinpeople.
“But what?” asked the judge.
“Objection, my lady!” said the Emperor’s uncle.
“You can’t object to me! I’m the judge!” said the judge.
“Oh, sorry,” said the Emperor’s uncle sheepishly.
“But Ron was asleep all day Thursday. He didn’t wake up for twenty-four hours after he saved the airship from crashing.” said Benny.
“So you do not have an alibi?” asked the judge.
“No, my lad. I don’t think I do.“ said Benny
There was a hush in the courtroom as the spectators considered the significance of Benny’s admission.
“How do you spell “alibi”,“ said the stenographer.
“Court is adjourned.” said the judge. “Come back tomorrow for the accused’s plea and the sentencing”.

Wednesday 22 August 2012

day forty-eight back on the big web


Back on the patio of the Kola Nut Hotel, spiders from all around heard about the wonderful web that Fred and his friends had built and went to see it. Before long the web was creaking under the weight of all the spiders. 
Fred and Sir Wellington Moonboots were at the end of one of the central main axiparticular threads, where Sir Wellington was explaining how a Stanley brace would give it more flexibility.
“I’ll show you,” he said, untying the knot and giving the two ends to Fred. “Don’t let go whatever you do!” he said.
Fred could feel the strong pull of the thread but he held it tightly. Sir Wellington was busy spinning a brace. “Won’t be long now,” he said.
Suddenly there was a jerk on the thread Fred was holding. A party of ninety spiders had just jumped onto the web. Sir Wellington looked in horror as Fred’s legs were stretched to breaking point.
“Let go!” he cried.
Fred let go of the knot and was shot at great speed up into the air. In an instant he was way up above the palm trees of the Kola Nut Hotel. A few seconds later he was sitting on top of a cloud - one of a convoy of vaguely duck-shaped clouds heading north. Fred’s legs ached, but he was o.k. It was getting very cold though.

Tuesday 21 August 2012

day forty-eight and the charges



The sardines were slightly off. Ron and Benny's circumstances seemed to be getting more miserable by the minute now.
Ron still wanted to know what Benny was going to say about how he survived the fall. “Well, it’s like this, you see. “ said Benny. “You fle... “
Just then there was the rattling of a key in the lock and the door of the cell was opened, making a loud screaming sound. In came a large penguinman with a candle whose flame writhed and flickered in the bad air.  He was followed by a smaller penguinperson.
“I am sent to represent you in this case”, said the first. “I am the Emperor’s uncle.” he said.
“You should call His Niceness “Your Niceness”,” said the second.
“This is my butler, Shortstaff,” said the Emperor’s uncle.
“Don’t try anything - I’ve got a poker,” said Shortstaff.
“You will go on trial tomorrow morning,“ the Emperor’s uncle said to Benny. “You are charged with striking the Emperor with a missile, which is obviously a serious matter.” He turned to Ron. “And you, despite your heroic antics, are charged with being an accessory to the crime. If you don’t mind me saying so, I don’t think you have got much chance. I will do what I can to help you, though, as we penguins believe in fairness and justice. The Emperor wishes this trial to be an example of respect for birdman rights. If you plead guilty you may be treated more leniently.”
“But we didn’t do anything!”, said Ron.
“We are completely innocent!” said Benny.
“Then how do you explain it? The Emperor was hit in the eye by a snowball containing a silver button identical to the buttons of your tunic, one of which is unaccounted for.” said the Emperor’s uncle. 
“Yes, get out of that if you can!” added the butler.

day forty-eight and a bump!



Just then there was a big bump and Ron and Benny were thrown into the air. Then the floor of the cell opened like a trap-door and they were dropped down a black chimney/chute-like thing and landed with a “crump!” and a “flump!” in another black cell.  They rubbed their bruised extremeties and looked around. They couldn’t see much. There was a star twinkling in a small window which had a thick iron grille. The floor of the cell was gritty with some sticky patches. The air was foul - a concoction of bad smells. The odorous atmosphere was enriched when a narrow hatch was opened at the foot of the door and a rusty plate with two sardines on it was pushed through. In the two seconds that the hatch was open, the cell was dimly illuminated by a sickly orange light. It was actually even worse than you would expect a dungeon in the Imperial Palace of the Far North to be. The cell on the airship had been bad enough,  but this place made it look like a four-star hotel suite. Ron and Benny groaned, and nibbled the sardines.

Monday 20 August 2012

day forty-eight and unanswered questions

“The Emperor had a black eye - like me,” said Ron. 
“Yes, I wondered why he was wearing an eyepatch,” said Benny. They were still in the brig of the gigantic Imperial zeppelin. 
“I wonder how he got it?” said Ron. “Maybe someone punched him - I hope so!”
“I don’t know, but I’ve got a feeling the Emperor’s black eye has something to do with this black situation we’re in right now.” replied Benny. They didn't know why they had been taken prisoner, but they knew they would soon find out.
“And by the way,” said Ron, “ you said you’d tell me how I got my black eye when I fell from the airship -  I mean, just a black eye?! Did you catch me?”
“Well, no I couldn’t catch you. You were falling too fast.” said Benny. “But I followed you down in my rotor-sledge and saw what happened.” Benny paused before continuing, “It’s like this you see. You fl... Whoaahhh!!”

Saturday 18 August 2012

day forty-eight and it's dark


“It’s dark in here,” whispered Ron. Ron and Benny had been led out of the Soup Shack and bundled onto the Imperial Zeppelin via the chute. They had then been thrown quite roughly into the brig. They could only see a keyhole of light in the iron door. They could hear the rumble of the zeppelin’s massive engine and the clanking of the gears changing as the huge craft gathered speed. Soon they would be in the Far North, home of the Emperor. That much was clear. Why exactly they were being taken there was not at all clear. What would happen to them was also obscure - although they were both starting to imagine all sorts of terrible things.
“Yes, it's a bit dark,” replied Benny. 

Friday 17 August 2012

day forty-eight back at the Soup Shack

It felt good to get the approval of the Emperor himself. Benny puffed out his chest with pride until he resembled, in his scarlet mountain policebird tunic, a ship with red sails bowed by a strong wind, ploughing through an ocean of waves and splashes. 
Just then, one of the silver buttons on Benny’s tunic shot off like a pellet from a gun. The button hit the general’s spiked helmet and ricocheted off the admiral’s navy bicorne and landed with a rattle in the Emperor’s empty soup bowl.
“What is this!” said the Emperor picking up the button.
“I’m very sorry, your highpriceness!” said Benny, reaching across the table towards the Emperor’s bowl.
“Let’s have a look!” said the Emperor. He held up the button and lifted his eyepatch to focus on it... revealing a black eye.
“Mmm,” he said, “very interesting...” he said, after examining it closely.
The general and the admiral stood up.
“And what’s more, Benny, I see you have lost another button from your tunic. Do you have that button?” continued the Emperor.
“No, I lost it somewhere, your highwireness,” replied Benny.
“Mmm,” said the Emperor. ”That’s very careless of you..”
The Emperor stood up. The footmen sprang to attention. Benny and Ron wobbled a little.
“Seize them!” shouted the Emperor.